Daniella (moonstealstar) wrote in suckitupdyke,

To open relate...

I don't want to go into a lengthy explanation at the moment, but would like some feedback on open relationships. I have never had one, like the idea of it but have had the issue of every previous girlfriend being too much of a cowardly liar to openly talk about sex with another person that it has always resulted in excess lying and cheating which leaves me feeling...unappreciated and untrusted. Currently I have been seeing a woman who is 10 years older than me, has been out for 3 years, treats me like gold, talks perhaps more than necessary about how our relationship works, and I am the first girl she's really spent this much time with since coming out. We agreed that kissing is ok as long as the other is respectable and there's communication about the incident and whether there was any feeling behind it or if it was just a impulse brought about by a pretty girl. Sex has been the main questioning factor; personally I feel much more comfortable if my girl and I pick out a lady together and have a threesome...but lately the idea of more of an open relationship has come to mind. Not because I don't really like this girl, she is so wonderful, kind and has bigger balls than most anyone I know...the respect I have for her is immense. Though since the beginning she has vocalized that she doesn't want any expectation of a real monogamist relationship, that she's new to this lesbian world and wants to experiment...which I understand and don't have much a problem with. We leave for a 2 month backpacking trip in July and plan to spend a week apart when we get back as to give each other a little space and alone time...after that there's a lot of ideas about moving and traveling and it just seems that our lives may take us in completely different directions and it may be the end of whatever we do have. So what I'm asking or searching for advise about is...has anyone been in an open relationship after long stints of cheating with former girlfriends? Did it work for you when you met someone who can communicate, trust and be respectful of it? Or did it seem to just escalate to a point of no longer having interest in that person after allowing pleasure with others? And if it did work out, what kind of ground rules were there if any? One night stands okay but anything with emotional ties is off limits? Just trying to get some experiences as it's been something we've been talking about lately. Thanks, sorry for getting lengthy. :p
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