childthursday (childthursday) wrote in suckitupdyke,

I don't even know. I'm really pissed and sad, but also this whole thing is just goddamn stupid and since I know that my girl and I are not going to break up, complaining about it seems dumb. It's also been such an ongoing issue - FIVE YEARS - that it seems doubly dumb to expect anything to change. And what has to change is me, anyway. But let me give this a shot.

Relationship stats: five years. Live together. Two cats. Joint bank accounts. Engaged. Did a year of couple's therapy, that was awesome.

Long term problem: My girlfriend doesn't listen, doesn't remember, is blindingly self-centered, and thinks "sorry" fixes everything and if I'm still upset it's my problem. Her favorite method of resolving conflict is to pretend it didn't happen. I overanalyze and have a memory like an elephant, tend to do whatever my girlfriend wants unless I have to do otherwise, and first lose my temper and then shut down.

Recent example: Tonight. Walking home 9 p.m. after a very long day. Talking about our days.

Me: And I still have to go home to finish that presentation for the weekend since I'm leaving so early Friday.
Her: Oh yeah. That sucks. I'm sorry. You can get it done.
~walking ten minutes more~
Her: Hey, let's go to the bar.
Me: I have to finish that presentation, remember?
Her: Oh yeah. I forgot.
Me: You FORGOT? I JUST SAID. You acknowledged it.
Her: I just wanted to get dinner!
Me: We TALKED ABOUT THIS. We have dinner at home. I need to go home.
Her: Fine, sorry.
Me: I'm sorry to be the bitch fun killer always. Jesus christ. Do you even listen?

This is the same goddamn argument we've had for five years. I'm not even kidding that this is what sent us to therapy four years ago. Like the exact incident: I said I had to get home to sleep because work, she said she'd put me in bed, and then ten minutes later wanted to go to the bar and claimed she forgot that I had said I had to get up early.

I know that my losing my temper doesn't help the situation. But after five goddamn years of this, surely she could try to, I don't know, listen? Because it's not that she forgot that is the's that this happens over and over and over again.

I don't know. I'm just upset.
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