exxpelliarmus (exxpelliarmus) wrote in suckitupdyke,

Hey y'all. I have been with my girlfriend for two years, but this post isn't about her so much as it is about some issues my mother and I are having about her/me/how I should live my life.

My mom likes my girlfriend. Well, she has up until the past few days. GF and I just got back from a trip to Florida and talked briefly and superfluously about moving there when I'm done with college in 2 years. (I will be 26 soon; had a bit of a late start ;) )

Currently, in addition to being in school full time, I am running my mother's small business. She and my step father moved away six months ago and left me in charge of their house, their dog, and this business. It's a lot of responsibility that was sort of just dumped on me.

As an only child, I grew up being fearful of disappointing my mother and I ended up humoring her on a lot of things to avoid heated arguments. And, also, because I was a child.

I am not a child anymore, but my mother constantly talks about how when I'm finished with school, she wants me to move to be with her and live with her and all this crap. She's very much dependent on me emotionally and the proverbial umbilical cord is made of fucking steel in this case. It's been very hard to make a dent in it, let alone a clean cut.

Herein lies my most recent problem. GF makes a dumb post on facebook about "can't wait to move down south, hopefully sooner than later!" and tagged me in it. Mom sees this and immediately freaks out. Mom and I have not had this conversation yet. Mom proceeds to send GF a text saying "how dare you! What a stupid thing to put on facebook, Jess (me) will agree :( " or some shit. They then proceed to have a text argument amongst themselves about which I am totally unaware until I get home from work and GF tells me what happened.

I call mom and explain to her that the issue of moving was discussed while we were on vacation, but nothing has been planned and it's still at least two years away. Mom says GF should have been more clear about that and should remove it from Facebook immediately. GF does this. Mom is still pissed, calls GF immature, tells me she's too stupid for me, and that she's a disrespectful "box of rocks".

Here's the bottom line. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE UNDER MY MOTHERS THUMB ANYMORE. Yeah, I can see how the FB post was unnecessary and thoughtless, but seriously? I feel that my mom overreacted. She wants an apology from GF. I'm pickle in the middle. I don't want to work at this business anymore. Quite frankly, I've been unhappy working here for the past year or so. I want to get a regular job and get a regular apartment with my girlfriend like regular people do. We can afford it. The only thing holding us back is the responsibility of the house and the dog and the business.

I need help. My mom is not a rational person and she's the kind that thinks she's always right. She's lost all her immediate family members (her mom and siblings) because of her way of dealing with issues. Here in Buffalo, I'm all she's got. At her current homestead, she has her husband, a few friends, and my step-grandparents. She's much happier there (out west) as a result. I've been much happier since she's moved. I can finally leave the house and pull my car out of the driveway without 20 questions.

What are the first steps I should take? Even if my GF wasn't in the equation, I'm ready to be my own person. I don't want to live in my mom's guest house. Ever. (Unless she's old and I have to take care of her).

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