ladydyke1 (ladydyke1) wrote in suckitupdyke,

Secret homophobe?

Hi everyone. Long time reader, first time poster.

I'm wondering what do about a relative (well, actually, a close friend of my mom's) who is a total liberal, pro-gay rights, but this weekend said something that sounded homophobic.

He said something like: "It's important to pay attention to the assumptions we're making. It's possible to live with a false assumption for years and waste a lot of time. It's important not to pay attention to feelings alone. It's more important to look at the life you're meant to be living, not just do something because it feels good."

I replied, "Well, some people would say all we have are feelings, you know, the five senses." He didn't say anything in return.

Then later on, he brought it up in front of my sister and my girlfriend saying "ladydyke1 and I were talking about assumptions earlier." I replied "Actually, I'm not sure what you meant by that." Then he says, after a pause, "Why don't you think about it a little while and then ask me a specific question." I said, "I don't know what question I would ask since I don't know what you meant."

There was a tense silence but he hugged me warmly when we left.

Have any of you encountered someone who's socially liberal but secretly homophobic? I don't feel I can confront him since that would be accusing him and I'm not sure he is homophobic. So, what do I do?

Thanks, in advance.
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